Fair trade, dark, cherry, milk, mocha—no matter your chocolate preference, winning a year’s worth would be little short of lovely. Bridge Brands Chocolate’s current contest is soliciting 600-word essays about ways that the treat (or the necessity, depending upon whom you ask) has “bridged the gap between relationships,” be they lovers or political enemies. The contest was inspired by the company’s name switch from the San Francisco Chocolate Factory and founder Mike Litton’s observation that “chocolate throughout history has been used to soothe many of life’s difficult situations.” Winners will be announced on—when else?—Valentine’s Day.

Need an afternoon pick-me-up? Fat Pig Chocolate can give you one in five to seven business days with their organic milk chocolate bars. Today it may seem unfortunate that Fat Pig isn't in the corner shop down the street from your office, but if order one today you'll will have forgotten about it by the time it arrives. And then, surprise! You've got a package and a delicious treat. While you’re pigging out, check out their website where you can upload an image of your own fat face about to eat some chocolate.

I remember walking into A Salt and Battery the first year I lived in New York, and having heart palpitations when I discovered that at Easter, they do deep fried Cadbury Créme Eggs. As disgusting as that sounds, you shouldn’t knock it till you’ve tried it. I was transported back to that memory just now, when I was mucking around on the Goo-ology website, and watching a series of disturbed Creme Eggs seeking help for their mental problems and suicidal tendencies. Those eggs managed to escape vats of hot oil, though. Go give Eggs & Ladders a play, watch the brilliant UK ad spots under the ‘Fantasties’ section, and when you can’t stand it anymore, rest assured any Duane Reade or Rite Aid will have at least half a million of them in stock already.

Our pals at Metromint are at it again. Back in March of 2006 they launched Spearmint (I’m still waiting on my stock options), then in early 2007 the super-genius mintologists launched Lemonmint and Orangemint — also stellar flavors. But who could have seen this one coming? Chocolate mint water, the most original beverage since mint water. Choco-mint is delicious. In fact, if you close your eyes and drink it, the essence of chocolate left in your mouth afterwards feels like you just chomped down a chocolate bar. Same great taste, zero calories. Oh my god! It will be in stores for Valentine’s day, and I’m telling you, it’s damn good.