Once upon a time, Barry and Levon had $240, and that bought…a lot of puddin’. But, what if they had $600? That would just be too ridiculous to comprehend. How I Spent My Stimulus takes a look at what Americans are blowing Bush’s $152 billion economic stimulus package on (note to our international readers: click here to learn more). From carabiners to train tickets, an extra few hundred dollars in the average taxpayer’s pocket opens up a whole new world of conspicuous consumption. So send in your pic or video of 600 lbs of dog food, three nights at a Westin Hotel, or, gasp, 150 gallons of gasoline. When the money is free, there’s no wrong answer.

Psychologist Carl Jung once talked about the “collective unconscious”, what he described as “a reservoir of the experiences of our species.” It’s kind of like how all children of the ’80s intuitively know an Autobot from a Decepticon. What Amy Hoy and Thomas Fuchs are trying to do with Twistori — their online social experiment — is find a sort of collective unconscious on Twitter. Inspired by our friend Jonathan Harris and his We Feel Fine project, Twistori uses Summize to tag conversations with key words like love, hate, think, believe, feel and wish. These convos are then grouped together on a scrolling Web page of innermost feelings. Now you can never say, “I never knew you felt that way.”

If you're anything like us, you remember sitting in school as a kid thinking that the clock on the classroom wall was exacting the most cruel of tortures by moving especially slow in order to keep us indefinitely steeped in a trigonometry lesson. In all likelihood, those clocks weren't out to get anybody, they were just doing their job, ticking away the precious seconds of life as you dealt with complex equations. Perhaps you should be thankful that the clock dealt in such small increments of time, as we couldn't imagine what it would've been like if every classroom had the Life Clock by Bertrand Planes affixed to the wall. This time teller is even less generous with movement as it goes 6,1320 times slower than a regular clock, preferring to tick away the days and years over seconds and hours. So if you manage to hit Forty O'clock more than once that means there have been some great advances in the prolonging of life. Or maybe you'll just be the oldest person in the world.

This made me happy. Maybe not for the reasons it intended to, but the end result was still joy. Bright laughing yellow-colored joy.

The iconic smiley face has expanded into the world of aromatherapy and fragrance with Smiley. Claiming to be the “very first anti-stress perfume,” Smiley offers a full range of olfactory uppers. Naturally derived from cocoa, the unisex fragrance is filled with an “olfactive substance with euphoriant bio-mechanics.” Containing Phenylethylamine (a hormonal joy booster) and Theobromine (an adrenaline blocker and stress reliever) to help get you pepped up and then keep you that way.

Smiley's website is a playground. Not only are they selling something called a “psycho-tonic,” but the English section of the site is a lost in translation dream (or nightmare, depending on how you look at it). It sounds like everyone working at Smiley mush be high. Even if a sniff of smiley does nothing for you, reading the line “these two cardio-tonics associated together dope the vitality and sets up the moral” should amuse pretty much anyone. I've totally been looking for a new way to dope my vitality. And of course, once your vitality is doped your moral is set up too.

Smiley's online store, called the “Happy Therapy Centre,” sells the whole range of smiley products – including “epidermal stimulating massage oil with micro-nutrients to activate happiness.” The site also ships worldwide and has a store locator in case you want to go pick up some happy in person.