I was so psyched I almost wet myself last night when I read this bulletin which told me that two of my absolute favorite artists, Tara McPherson and Camille Rose Garcia, are teaming up next Saturday, November 10, for a lecture titled Illustration In The Age of Anxiety. The discussion is part of a symposium at The New School meant to explore how the current cultural climate is affecting the field of illustration. And who better than these two to delve into that question?

Illustration in the Age of Anxiety’ looks at how illustration handles times of unease and anxiety in our culture, from the atomic anxiety of the 1950s to today’s wars and upheaval. “Illustration in the Age of Anxiety” will feature three conversations lead by prominent and accomplished writers illustrators. It’s free and open to the public, and it should be nothing short of FREAKIN’ AWESOME. Be there. Say hi.

Writing cover letters to potential employers are a serious PITA for most people. I personally deal with them well, because I like that they give me an opportunity to show I’m sort of an interesting person employers might like to have around (at least I think so), in addition to being dependable with knowing the correct placement of en-dashes and em-dashes. But student graphic designer Stephen Woowat’s introductory portfolio leaves me looking like a pitiful novice who needs classes in creativity; the jobless Woowat put together an outstanding, humor-tinted package promoting himself to employers under a self-designed “Help Stephen” campaign, complete with an “appeal pack” that includes “I Helped Stephen” stickers, a badge, mug coaster and an interview appointment card. The wording isn’t unlike something you see from a non-profit organization’s solicitation to help a cause, making it all the more funnier, and all the more clever. I hope by now Woowat’s been hired as a result of his brilliant idea — I mean, look, the guy proved his worth even before you read his resume — but the rest of us should keep his address on hand just in case we hit writer’s block when applying to that dream gig.

Contrary to popular belief, the above photo is not a Photoshop trick. We wouldn’t do that to you. It’s not a secret government torture tool either, not that we know of. It is the biggest mofo of a Swiss Army Knife ever invented, with a Guinness World Records entry to prove it. Totally legit, too. Wenger, one of the companies that make those pocket red and silver all-in-one-tools everyone has in their drawer or hiking kit, created this gluttonous monster for their 100th anniversary. It has 85 tools (the total number that was ever produced by them) usable in 110 various ways, and at almost 9 inches long and weighing in at 3 pounds, you’ll need the special box it comes in to carry it around. I’m kind of confused though; the Swiss Army knife is popular for its practicality, but with this particular big guy, using the nail filer to smooth your nails or the corkscrew to open a wine bottle brought along on a camping trip seem to defeat its purpose. In desperate times, it could probably improvise as a hammer. For $1,200 a pop (ThinkGeek has it for $999 if you’re comparison shopping), I’m fine and dandy sticking with my Knife and its modest set of 10 tools. But thanks anyway.

Are you having trouble telling that certain someone how you really feel? We know where you’re coming from. Sometimes a text message is too impersonal and we’re not really good at talking on the phone either. If passive aggression, or I guess aggressive aggression is your thing, you can delicately hint at your feelings with a gift… the gift of words. And nothing says, I think you’re a jerkfaced-douchelord like throwing a beanbag with the words “jerkface” or “douchelord” right at the face of the person, whom you feel is best characterized by said word. Yes, the maybeyoushoulddie shop at Etsy has thought of all of the clever combinations of insults from “bitchass” to “whoremouth” totalling 16 in all, and embroidered them on these special Mean Bags allowing you to dole out hurtful phrases with pinpoint accuracy, while at the same time softening the blow with pillowy tenderness. So now I guess the only question is: does the victim of your wrath charge you with physical or verbal assault? (They’re presently sold out, but here’s hoping someone with nimble fingers is fixing that.)

If the thought of wearing Frye boots makes you squirm like sticking your hand in a bowl of eyeballs (okay, melodramatic — but it was Halloween yesterday, and the thought of popped-collar d-bags in bulky leather is a fair comparison), but you still need a pair of weather-ready boots, you’d do well to check out Matt Bernson’s Fall 2007 line of Brazilian-made shoes. Primarily known for his larger, beautifully made women’s line, Bernson’s men’s collection features all the things I’ve come to find guys look for in a shoe: comfort, style, versatility, and leather that’s as buttery as a French croissant. My favorite pair in the line is the Roper Boot — it looks like a shoe with a vision for a man on a mission, but in the least Texas oil-man/Aspen tourist way possible. I’m getting the impression that the men’s collection is a new launch (?) so keep an eye out for more even more cowhide tastiness in 2008’s upcoming seasons.